The Day We Met

It was the first day I wore glasses. I hated them and made extra care to look good to compensate. It was spring and I wore a light blue dress sprinkled with tiny flowers that flowed and swayed when I walked. I had on a new pair of high heel sandals that emphasized my height. He later said when he saw me he thought to himself "That one!" By chance, one of his lunch partners was a woman who was dating one of my office mates. She called my friend and me over to the table and made introductions around the table. I was told later that he was struck by me. I laughed it off that he had confused me with my friend who was knows for a gigantic chest and unbuttoned shirts. Weeks later I was sitting in software meeting, he walked in and interrupted the meeting saying that he had to talk to me about an urgent matter waving a problem report up in the air. I was startled. He didn't work on my program and the problem report he was holding was a hardware problem report. None of my co-workers seemed to realize how strange this was. Curious, I followed him out to the hall where he asked me for a date. If he had phoned me I probably would have said no; I did not think he was my type. However, caught so off guard I nodded yes. Two kids and a dog later I wonder about the chances and the moments of courage that map our lives.
Happy Valentines - Baby!

Love and Tears for My Brother

I am plague by doubts and keep questioning what I should do. I have been told my older brother is living in a homeless shelter while I live in comfort. I feel the urge to conduct a search and rescue operation. I am a Warrior Princess. I will search the streets in a distance state and find you. I will bring you to my home, get you the medical help you need, clothe you, get you counseling and job training. I will succeed where my parents and your mental health professionals, ex wives, employers and friends have failed. You have always lived in a dark angry place of monsters, conspiracies and blame. People are scared of you and I am not entirely sure you are safe to be around. Everything you have done that has set you on this path was someone else’s fault. You long for Walden’s Pond not fully realizing his discourses were achieved through the burden placed on family and friends. You believe you cannot connect with people because they are the unthinking masses and do not have your intellectual worldliness and sensitivities. I know that you don’t really believe that. It is what you tell yourself because you cannot do any better. You were my Daniel Boone. I remember clearly the coonskin hat and the toy rifle you played with as a child. I remember the story as a child you ran away from home for a couple of hours. You put me, an infant, in a red wagon and took me with your cherished belongings. We have bonds that ties us. If I had a cabin on a Walden’s Pond, I would put you there, but it is not within my means and I know I cannot fix your problems. My poor broken brother! All I can give you is my love and tears and pray that you are catching a sunbeam somewhere.

Washing Machine Warranty Crises

Lying on the sofa; basking in a sunbeam; watching ribbons of dust specks swirl in the light. One should catch the pleasures in the small mundane things in life. After all, life has far more of the mundane moments than thrills. My washing machine broke today just one year and plus some days after the date of purchase. I have a faint memory of buying an extended warranty. So I called the big box store, which asks for my warranty number. Don’t remember having anything with a warranty number, but that is ok I am told as long as I have my sales receipt. I don’t have a sales receipt. I swear the salesman told me that the information was kept in the store’s computer system and easily retrieved. Now I am told that is not true. Note to myself – whenever buying substantial purchases to staple the sales receipt and warranty material to the product instruction book. I have a drawer full of those, mostly for items I now longer have. Another note to myself - Copy the sales receipt before mailing to claim the rebate and then staple the copy to the product instruction book. Somehow I resentfully feel the big box store's system is unfairly benefiting on the frantic pace of my life. The big box service center suggested I call the manufacturer for the extended warranty information. I do so, the toll free number routes through a circle of confusing menus and finally to a long distance number. I feel my blood pressure start to rise. I travel through another set of menus and my resentment has escalated to rage upon finally connecting to a real person to hear that the big box store only sells their extended warranties not the manufacturers. Hours later I have calmed myself down. I am thinking one should feel blessed whenever anything works or any process flows smoothly. Wouldn’t all be better if we felt gratitude each time something happens as it should throughout the day? I am blessed that my refrigerator worked today, I am blessed that I found the mate to my shoe, thank you car for starting today. So in clothes that could use a washing, I lie on the sofa catching sunbeams.

If Only Life Was Like A Jigsaw Puzzle

I recently started to do jigsaw puzzles. I am afraid I am addicted to them. I hardly do any housework or errands anymore. If I have a moment of time, I am at the puzzle table, studying shades of colors and subtleness of shapes. It is not the greatest intellectual challenge and I find my thoughts reviewing what happened at work this week, replaying events from long ago and mentally rehearsing conversations that need to take place. I am amazed at the satisfaction I feel when a piece so neatly falls in place and makes what was missing whole again. I wonder if my daughter is really off drugs, if my son will find his place in the world, what I can do about a homeless brother and if my husband and I have what it takes to find happiness in retirement. One by one the pieces fall into place, so smooth and closely fitted, each finding their home.